As the weather begins to get colder, it’s no surprise that more and more people are looking to settle down. No, seriously. Urban dictionary has dubbed this phenomenon “cuffing season”, but experts agree, there is a stronger desire for commitment during the winter months. With that being said, cuffing season is approaching and you’re ready to find a cuddle buddy. But how?

Living in New York, which is home to over 8 million people, you’d think that the possibilities of finding love would be endless. Unfortunately, dating in the city means a lot of right swipes, and not so many second dates.

If you’re trying to find love, but feel like there’s no hope left insight, try these tips!

Online dates

Yes, sometimes those right swipes end in complete disaster, but if you’re lucky, you really can find love online. Download a few dating apps and see what’s out there. The huge advantage of dating apps is that you can be “introduced” to lots of people at once. If someone doesn’t spark your interest, you can easily explore the next.

If you find someone you like, be sure to strike up a decent conversation that lasts at minimum, a couple days. This is so you can sus out the other persons’ intentions before you decide to meet. I'm not promising it’s going to end perfectly, but let’s just say I do know quite a few love stories that started on Tinder.

Speed dating or double dating

If online dating isn’t for you, there are a few other alternatives you can try. Speed dating and double dating are both good options. Quickly research speed dating in your area, as events usually happen pretty often. This is a great way to meet people face to face, in a group setting, to decide if there’s anyone that could be a potential love interest.

Double dating also relieves a lot of the pressure of a first date. If you have any friends that are couples, see if they know any single people they can set you up with. Choose a day and time that works for all of you, and plan a double date. That way, it’ll just feel like a bunch of friends hanging out together.

Frequent community events

Community events are a broad term on purpose, they could encompass any and all of your interests. Meeting people here feels natural, and you’ll likely have at least one thing in common. This could include something like a poetry reading, a sports meet-up (like basketball, volleyball, etc), an art showcase, a bike ride, group fitness class, paint & sip, cooking class, and so much more! Whatever your hobbies are, find a place where you can celebrate them with other people. It’s an amazing way to find a possible romantic interest, and if not, perhaps make some lifelong friends.

Don’t be scared to socialize

Sometimes we're out at a party, we see someone we find attractive, but were too afraid to engage in conversation. Realistically, the worst that can happen is they're not interested, but you’ll never know if you don’t put yourself out there.

Aim to stop nervously texting, checking Instagram, and fake replying to emails. Just talk to people. You’ll be surprised how much you can learn about someone just by intentionally engaging in conversation. Even if it’s just a friendly gesture. Maybe the girl you sparked up a conversation with within the bathroom has a brother that she thinks is perfect for you! The bottom line never is scared to socialize!

Say hello

Janis Spindel (of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking Inc), who has over 25 years of matchmaking expertise, says to try something she calls the “hello challenge”. The hello challenge should be practiced daily, where if you see someone that piques your interest, you simply say hello. Essentially, we meet people everywhere we go; at the gym, grabbing coffee, the grocery store, the bank, WHEREVER! We have to aim to make ourselves approachable, by engaging with others. Trying something as simple as saying hi, could end in a marriage for all you know.

Yes, after a long week, it's easy to ditch your Friday night plans to meet your friends at the bar and stay home to watch Netflix. But realistically, you’re not going to meet the man of your dreams sitting at home on the couch. Choose days of the week where you make a commitment to go out (it doesn’t have to be the bar; it could be a networking event or a community event like I mentioned earlier), and stick to it.

During those days, keep an open mind, put on an outfit that makes you feel good, and just go for it. Use aforementioned tips like socializing with intention, and saying hello, and it won’t be long before you’re in a committed, loving, relationship.

If you want all the perks of co-living, with added privacy, Roomrs has one-bedroom options available for couples!