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5 ways to solve roommate conflicts

December 13, 2022 | By Roomrs


So you’ve done all you can to be a good roommate, yet you still seem to be getting into arguments with the people that you live with. Luckily, this is very common and somewhat inevitable. Although there are things you can do to minimize conflict and make sure you all get along, things happen. So if you find yourself in a disagreement with a roommate, and are wondering how you can solve it, keep reading.

1. Have a conversation

Just talking it out can be underrated; and sometimes, it’s the answer to all your problems. Having open and honest conversations with your roommate is very important. That way, you can immediately deal with what's bothering you, and come up with a solution that makes everyone happy.


Talking may be the first indication to your roommate that something is wrong in the first place. Sometimes people do certain things, without realizing that another person is being negatively affected by it. If you speak up, they become aware of what is and isn’t acceptable to you as their roommate. Communication can be a very effective tool and helps strengthen your roommate relationship in the long run.



2. Refer to your roommate agreement

A roommate agreement serves as a contract between you and your roommates. It is meant to be discussed in-depth so that everyone can have input on the rules and guidelines (that should be followed at all times). More often than not, an issue that arises has already been addressed in the roommate agreement. Refer to that document in order to come up with a solution to the problem you are having.

3. Renegotiate if necessary

If you don’t find answers in the roommate agreement, it may be time to renegotiate. Whether it’s an issue you haven’t discussed at all, or have a new stance on, you may want to make changes to the preexisting document. Just like in the original roommate agreement, all changes need to be discussed and agreed upon. It may be a good idea to revise the roommate agreement every couple of months, as things may occur that require a renegotiation.


For example: Previously, the roommate agreement didn’t include anything about significant others because everyone was single. Now, your roommate has a new boyfriend. You notice they are spending 5 nights a week at the apartment. They are being inconsiderate by taking long showers, watching tv loudly late at night, and using all the toilet paper without ever replacing it. This is becoming extremely frustrating to deal with, and you don’t know what to do.


To combat this, you would discuss the issues you are having with your roommate’s significant other to them, and ask that you make adjustments to the roommate agreement. Maybe come up with a maximum number of nights a week a partner is allowed to stay over, ask that they pitch in to buy some household items, or implement quiet hours by 10 pm. There is no one set of rules that works for everyone, so figure out what’s right for your individual living situation.

4. Involve a third party

Sometimes, a third party can help you in discussing issues calmly and more rationally. They don’t have any reason to side with one person or another, so they are offering an unbiased point of view. Having a third party (or mediator) can help you come to a resolution, without unnecessary arguments. They are there to make sure everyone's opinions are heard, and each person is actively listening to one another. Issues between roommates can get extremely heated, so if you’re finding it difficult to resolve issues on your own, think about getting a third person involved.




5. Agree to disagree

Despite your best efforts in trying to resolve conflict, occasionally you may just have to agree to disagree. Doing so ultimately involves a form of negotiation, in which one person is deciding to tolerate something they don’t necessarily agree with, in the interest of keeping the peace. While it can be difficult keeping an open mind when you feel very strongly about a particular topic, sometimes you have to compromise.


You and your roommate are not required to be best friends, but you should still want to do your best to keep things civil. It is awkward and uncomfortable to have to live with someone you can’t even be in the same room with.


In an effort to minimize roommate conflict, it’s important to first choose the right roommate to begin with! Although you can never be a hundred percent certain about your choice, there are steps you can take to give yourself better odds. Check out this article for tips on finding a roommate that is right for you! At Roomrs, we do our best in finding you a roommate that is perfect for you! With that being said, if issues arise, you can transfer to any other available room at any time during your lease. And for the first 30 days, it's absolutely free of charge! This is the roomrs guarantee to ensure that your living arrangements are always seamless and comfortable.


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